


Hiraeth

by Underestimated_amateur



Series: Honey Eyes And a Wolf's Heart [8]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, Child Stiles, Cut this ‘Have To Be Special’ Bullcrap, Everything Hurts, Full Shift Werewolves, Grief/Mourning, Hale fire aftermath, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Mates, Kid Fic, M/M, Past Character Death, Porkchops, Post Hale Fire, Stiles Tries To Help, Teen Derek, Werefox Stiles, Werewolves Turn Into Actual Wolves, loss of home
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 23:48:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10797309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Underestimated_amateur/pseuds/Underestimated_amateur
Summary: It's been a year after the disaster, but sometimes Derek comes back to his broken home.He is sixteen when he learns what it means to grieve. He is sixteen when he re-lets people in.





	Hiraeth

It's been a year after the disaster, but sometimes Derek comes back to his broken home.

He can't live there anymore. Nothing can live there anymore. His home is considered uninhabitable. The house is torn apart, broken down and burnt to an ugly gray-brown color. The wreckage of the Hale house smells of suffocating smoke and ember, of burning years old wood and flesh, of ash and death. Everytime he sniffs he’s reminded of his home being destroyed in flames of hatred and murdered innocence. It haunts him still, will always haunt him. His family died here. His mother with her earthbound, petrichor scent and gentle hand, his father, his aunts and uncles, sisters and brothers, cousins, nieces and nephews. This is their grave, where the lives of supernatural and human, children and adult, were stolen of life. This burnt house is the last link to the people he’s lost.

He thinks that, in a way, it’s also the reason he returns to this place. Despite being broken and covered in cinder, it will always be his home, even if he doesn’t live here anymore. There were good memories here, seeped into the wood, embedded in the soil, and hidden in the grass and trees. From running through the woods in their canine forms, to rolling around in the grass with kids his age when he was younger. Everyday, when the sun began to set, his mother would sit on the porch or out in the field with a warm cup of Earl Gray tea. Sometimes, when he wasn’t occupied with homework or a certain kit, he’d sit down with her. Together they’d watch the sun pass over the vast trees and pasture. He’d rest his head in her lap as the sky changes from blue hues to orange and golden colors above them. Each time he fell asleep on her, he’d wake up to his bedroom, gently tucked into his warm bed.

Days like those won’t ever come again, he knows. It makes him miss them all the more.

From the front door of the broken down house is a trail of clothing he discarded before shifting. His fur coat is like his mother’s; pure black, while his father’s was always a light brown. The only difference between her and Derek is his blue eyes. In his wolf form it’s easier. Animals don’t need words, awkward small talk, or long winded explanations. There's no pointless 'it'll be okay's or 'time moves on' that he hears from people who he's never even met. The Stilinski family thankfully doesn’t make him talk about it. Only let him curl up on their couch they’ve let him sleep on since he doesn’t have anywhere else to go. Stiles follows him around even more now. He’s never out of the kit’s sight for a second, besides during school and using the bathroom. Even though at first the little one insisted they could just take baths _together,_ but his parents shot him down before Derek could say a word of response. 

The Sher─ John. He was told if he’s living under their roof, he should at least call him John. It’s a hard habit to break. The man himself is awkward around him, like he wants to help, but doesn’t know how to approach him. The man doesn't sugar coat things or pretend to have all the answers, and Derek's glad for it. John’s seen the damage first hand, he was the one who escorted him down to the police station. Derek himself doesn’t know how to interact with him either, but it’s not overall uncomfortable. Just awkward. It’s getting better. Now a days John will ask him things like ‘How was school?’, ‘Done your homework yet?’, ‘What are you feeling like for dinner?’, or ‘Need a ride anywhere?’ It’s awkward, but appreciated.

He can tell Claudia is hurting too, she lost a lot of people she was close to. Especially his mom, he thinks the two were best friends. Despite her own grieving, though, she always seems to have time for his. Sometimes he’ll go to her when he can’t be alone or just needs to be near someone when Stiles isn’t around. They never say a word, he doesn’t think they need to. Instead they sit on the back porch or couch and watch either the world go by or whatever’s on tv. It helps, a little, but it’ll never be the same. No one can ever replace the people he lost.

Derek makes a loud whining sound, nuzzling one of the burnt couch cushions that managed to survive. One of his grandparents had picked it out a long time ago, its satin and stitches ruined now. The couch itself is lopsided, but still intact. Mostly.

How many times has he sat down and done homework right here, on their old sofa? How many times has family and pack members plopped down on this and watched a movie? How many times had one of them come home, exhausted, and thrown themselves into the cushions? If he tried hard enough, he can still smell them, but only faintly. The stink of the fire overpowers the majority of the traces of his family. It makes him stir crazy, desperate to find something with a strong remembrance of Pack. Soon their scents will be gone and then what will he have?  

Curling into himself more, he whimpers miserably. His ears twitch at the sudden answering bark he receives from the outside. Seconds later there’s a light thumping of paws on the front porch and through the open door. A little grey fox scampers up to him, a piece of cooked porkchop in his mouth. The little one plops his butt down before Derek, dropping the meat at is tiny paws and cocks his head to the side at him. Oh, he must have missed dinner again. He huffs, closing his eyes. He isn’t hungry. 

The kit yips at him and moves closer. The little one tries to jump onto the couch, but doesn’t quite make it and falls back onto his rear. He gets back up at tries to worm his way up the furniture again, whining. Taking pity on the furball, Derek peers down at him and gets up. He gently grabs the fox by the nape of his neck with his mouth, like a vixen would to their young, and drops him on the sofa next to him.

He lays back down, too tired to entertain the kit, but he feels his shoulders relax in the were’s presence. Stiles seems to understand and presses against him, wrapping up into a ball of fluff as he yawns. Derek follows suit, jaw opening wide as he yawns as well. The kit licks the end of his muzzle, half idly grooming, half offering comfort. When Stiles pulls away, Derek can see warm honey and compassion in his golden brown hues.

 

Everything isn’t okay. He’s still hurting, he still feels lost. But, Derek thinks as Stiles sniffles before laying his head under the wolf’s chin, they might be okay if they have each other.   

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hiraeth - Homesickness for a home you can't return to or never was. Or homesickness tinged with grief or sadness over the lost or departed. It is a mix of longing, yearning, nostalgia, and wistfulness. 
> 
> A thing to note: Derek's wolf has blue eyes, but not because he killed Page. I can't remember if that was the reason or not, but I figured I should say something just in case. 
> 
> So Stiles can shift into a fox now! They grow up so fast. Derek lives with the Stilinskis if it's not obvious here. 
> 
> I really like this series and I wanted to start writing it again soon, life just got in the way and I lost touch on motivation with this. I'm back now and I've been on a roll with it. 
> 
> I'd also like to thank you guys for sticking around or are just now reading. You guys kept me going and pushed me to write more. Getting constant emails I got kudos and comments was the greatest thing ever. Again, thank you all so much :) 
> 
> Next chapter will come around next week. I've already started writing it! 
> 
> Until then


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